Also this weekend, Thomas the Tank Engine Star Alignment.

Oh, and there is one more thing... we haven't discussed the subject of payment. You can't get something for nothing, you know. But I don't have- I'm not asking much, just a token really, a trifle. You'll never even miss it. What I want from you is... your voice. 

Disney, please don't come after me for using this really shitty Vimeo screenshot. I am poor. For realz. You could maybe get a few plastic clothes hangers and some potted meat out of your petty lawsuit. On the other hand, come at me, bro. I have too much of this potted meat shit. The Husband is kind of into doomsday prepping and I don't want to spend the Zombie Apocalypse sitting in a hole somewhere eating 500 metric tons of motherfucking Spam.

 That was a Disney tangent. Get used to them. I had two of them in the last post that I declined to type but that was pure laziness on my part. This post was literally going to start with "Oh, and..." to indicate an afterthought, you know? And then continue in to the amazing story I have to relay. But you see what happens. My internal monologue is constantly interrupted by Hades or Yzma or Scar. Hmm, that's a bunch of villains. I mean, I hear other characters. Really, I do. But yeah, it's usually the villains. They have the best lines.

Oh, and speaking of Disney tangents: In the above dialogue between Ursula and Ariel, two lines were removed for the soundtrack release of Poor Unfortunate Souls. "You can't get something for nothing, you know." and "You'll never even miss it." So when I hear the recording it really fucks with me, as every word of that film has been permanently and infallibly seared into my brain since the age of eight. So yeah, thanks for screwing with my, Disney.

And now, for something completely different...

 This post is really about Thomas the Tank Engine. Don't believe me? (Ask the dishes! They can sing, they can dance, after all, Miss, this is France! And a dinner here is never second best!) Fuck!

Ahem, as I've stated before, The Spawn loves Thomas. He hugged his little die cast Thomas the other day and told me that Thomas was his best friend. Cue awwwws. He's been collecting the Take-n-play Thomas and Friends but their tracks and other cool offerings are pretty limited. So we started collecting the Thomas Wooden Railroad stuff which have all of the characters and buildings and crap and have been around since the early 90s. These fucking wooden trains are expensive as shit. And by that I mean if the shit in question were made out of a bunch of money. I paid 25 bucks for 3 trains and a little wooden oval track and that was a really good deal comparatively speaking. He also really wants the Trackmaster Thomas trains (which are motorized and run on a completely different track, fuckyouverymuch).

He knows about the existence of these things because of Youtube. So I really have no one to blame but myself. I ignore his crack screen habit every single day so that I can have a cup of coffee and perhaps a nice poop in peace. I've spent a few weeks scouting eBay for used trains and components. Some of these little bitches are more expensive than my fucktitting electric bill. And it's almost July. And I live in FLORIDA. So I came across a Craigslist post for "large lot of wooden train tracks with a few trains, $100". An hour away from my house. Called them up and asked to have a look-see.

You guys. YOU GUYS.

And in the bottom of that giant-ass green tote, I hit the motherlode. 52 Thomas Wooden Railway trains. These are not pictured because I shit myself and had to get cleaned up then forgot to take a photo. There was seriously over a thousand bucks worth of Thomas and Brio stuff.

And then today I took a random trip with my Mom to a goodwill that I never visit and found a giant container of Thomas Trackmaster trains for $24.99. Are you shitting me? The Thomas gods are smiling down upon me this weekend. #blessed