The Heathen Homeschool: Rabid Pooping Bubble Monsters

It's mid-July in Florida (aka Satan's Buttcrack) which means that the time we spend outside has to be strategically planned for the hours of 6:30-8:45am. That is literally the only acceptable time to be outside here if one wants to avoid the Rango shrivel or being carried away by Miracle-Grow-possibly-Zika-infested mosquitoes.

We try to spend some time outside everyday. Sometimes we stay at home and play on the slide or with the sand table. Sometimes we swim. Usually though, The Spawn wants to go to the park. These little excursions involve driving to the park, unloading, and "racing" with The Spawn around all of the playground equipment 10-15 times. Then he's ready to go. That's it. No sliding. No swinging. Just running around and around and around. I've had several conversations with him about how we could have just run around the yard at home but it always ends with tearful protestations and requests to return to the park immediately to go "slide," otherwise known as, "run around the slides".

It's nearing the end of our summer vacation, so I've been having fun with some not-so-educational craft projects before the school year starts up. Since we need outdoor entertainment that doesn't involve running around playground equipment, I thought it was time to break out the bubbles. Here's what you'll need:

Rabid Pooping Bubble Monsters

empty water bottles
cutting utensil (I like throwing knives and broken glass but I guess you could use scissors if you're one of those boring scissor-using people)
fabric or socks
rubber bands
foam sheets
googly eyes
hot glue gun & sticks
Dawn dishwashing liquid (classic blue works best but I only have "New Zealand Springs". Can you blame me? It smells less like plastic.)
Glycerin (look for this in the pharmacy section near the surgical washes and bandages)
water
paper plates and a plastic cup

You'll want to prep this the day before you want to use them to let the bubble stuff do its secret magical chemical bonding shit.

Make your bubble stuff: Mix 8 oz of water with 3 tbsp dawn and 1 tbsp glycerine. Let your solution sit overnight. I tripled the recipe and poured it into an old 2 liter bottle. Then I created a quick cardstock label, et voilà!

Cut the bottoms off of your water bottles.
Decorate your bottles with foam and googly eyes to make adorable monsters. Note: depending on which way you decorate, you'll end up with either a rabid monster or a pooping one.

Cut fabric to fit over the bottom of your bottles. I used an old flour sack towel. Secure with rubber band or ponytail holder.

Set up outside.

Pour a small amount on bubble stuff into the cup. Add more than 10 drops of food coloring. Mix and pour onto plate. I found that I used too much bubble stuff and not enough color. Don't make the same mistake that I did. Learn from my sins.